How does one deal with the fact their husband wanted to kill them?
Thankfully for many this is a question they never have to face, but for victims of Domestic Violence it is all too common. In fact many never get to ask this question and pay the ultimate price. For those of us who survive, looking death in the face at the hands of your spouse is hell on earth.
Years ago when I married my ex I trusted him. I took vows and believed he would love and care for me for the rest of my life. I took care of him and I believed he would do the same. Unfortunately that was not the case. His inner promise, that I didn’t understand at the time, was to destroy me.
My ex threatened my life verbally and he terrorized me for years. This took a toll on my physical and mental health. I lost an incredible amount of weight, I could no longer eat or sleep. I was slowly dying.
The scariest thing for me was when I faced the fact he knew exactly what he was doing to me. None of his actions were by accident. They were all coldly calculated and very controlled. He even admitted to it in a calm, cool and indifferent manner. I now know that if I had stayed I would not be here today.
So how does one deal with the fact their husband wanted them dead? I really do not know. I wrestle with this question daily and I fight with it in my sleep. Part of me logically understands that he wanted me dead. He probably still does. Then there is the other part of me, my heart that cannot accept that the man I loved, married and gave three children too would want to see me wiped out. It is a surreal thought.
Ways to stay safe after you have left;
- Screen calls with caller ID and request your phone numbers not be listed in directories.
- Some states offer confidential mail forwarding services for domestic abuse victims so you can avoid giving out your physical address. A post office box can also help keep your street address private.
Close your bank and credit card accounts. If needed, reopen them in your name only.
About Janet B:
I am a Domestic Violence Survivor, who battles PTSD. I share what I know to help others on their journey and to help educate society. I also Supervise a Mentoring Program at Verbal Abuse Journals (http://verbalabusejournals.com/). This program matches Survivors who have been out of the abusive relationship for a few years, and are now Mentors, with Survivors who are either still in an abusive relationship or have just left. A mentoring relationship is set up via email where the Mentor offers guidance and support to the Survivor for as long as they need. Please feel free to sign up for this free service at http://ow.ly/LSii8
Verbal Abuse Journals facebook https://www.facebook.com/VerbalAbuseJournals
My facebook page: Freedom Within: My Journey through Domestic Violence and PTSD https://facebook.com/fw.dvptsd