I had great insight today.
This afternoon we met with our priest. My oldest has been having some troubles that we needed his guidance on. He talked about how evil (those who work for Satan) are always among us. The little voice that tells you to do something bad or causes you to fight with another for example. Life on the evil side can seem grand and very tempting but it comes with a great price. There is pain and consequence. When you tell evil to be gone in the name of the Lord your life can become quite difficult. Not because God makes it that way but that evil is trying to deter you and make you want to turn back to the darkness where life appears wonderful.
As I listened to him I thought of my ex. He never knew the light of God and was definitely full of darkness. Religion was not huge in our married life although I was raised in a strong Anglican family. I tried to raise our children in the church but he often thwarted my plans. I see now that evil was working in him and trying to keep me away from God. Coincidently life also had its perks then. We owned a home and had financial security.
When I decided that my children and I had to flee I knew there would be hardships, but I was not prepared for what we faced. We lost our home and I my career due to my health difficulties. Sometimes it felt the battle was a constant uphill climb, BUT in that climb we found God again. We have His unconditional love!
Whether one believes or not I think my realization is prevalent either way. When I was with evil life comforts were easy to come by. When I turned away from evil and back to the lord every obstacle was put in my path in hopes, I believe, that I would turn back to evil, go back to my ex and enjoy the material comforts. I have often referred to my marriage as to when I married the devil. Today I realized how true that statement is. He may not be the devil himself but he is definitely full of the darkness the devil offers.
Gladly I will walk with the Lord and no longer ask, “Lord why have you made recovery so difficult?” I will now look at each trial as evils attempt to pull me back to the darkness. I will rise to each challenge and not let it pull me back. I will keep moving towards Gods light.
Mentor Survivors of Abuse at Verbal Abuse Journals http://verbalabusejournals.com
facebook page: Freedom Within: My Journey through Domestic Violence and PTSD https://www.facebook.com/VerbalAbuseJournals
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Linkedin: Janet Brownlee http://ca.linkedin.com/in/janetbrownleedvptsd“>