They never tell you how hard it will be once you leave your abusive relationship.
They never tell you how many years you won’t be able to sleep or the bags you’ll get under your eyes. Or how some days all you will want to do is sleep.
They never tell you the pain you will feel years after you have left.
They never tell you that you’ll see counsellor after counsellor, Psychiatrist’s too just trying to get your head right.
They never tell you how you will struggle to get out of bed. Not for a day or a week, but for two years. Two years of detoxing from trauma.
They never tell you that you might not be able to work, that you’ll lose your home and most of your possessions.
They never tell you how much your kids will hurt. How shattered they will grow up even though you try to do everything right.
They never tell you.
You can’t imagine how many tears you will cry and think that you can’t possibly take one more step.
They just never tell you.
They tell you to leave, go somewhere safe, but after that…..well they don’t tell you what happens after that.
They also don’t tell you how you will find strength deep down inside of you that you never knew existed.
They don’t tell you how you will find a way to fight every battle with your head held high.
They don’t tell you that you will survive, but I will tell you.
I will tell you that it will be hard, that your heart will hurt and your knees will shake, but you will soldier on. That you are so much stronger than you think and that someday you will look back with a smile and say, “Hey, I did do all of that!”
I got help.
I found a new home.
I helped my kids.
I healed. We healed.
Or perhaps I should say we are healing.
Every step forward we are healing.
They may never tell you all of that, but believe me when I say, you will survive. I promise you that.